This post is written by Leslie Hudson and is published as a companion to Unit 18, Session 4 of The Gospel Project for Adults Vol. 6 (Winter 2022-23): From Captivity to Restoration.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s something we have all said, hopefully many times. But one “I’m sorry” is not the same as another. There are many reasons for one to be sorrowful; some more sincere or guilt-ridden than others. Let’s consider some of the differences.

Forms of “I’m Sorry” to Each Other

“I’m sorry I forgot.” This is my most common apology: I sincerely wanted to mail that card, bring that dessert, or put that laundry away, but it completely slipped my mind. It’s my fault, because I let something else become more important than it should have.

“I’m sorry I got caught.” As a mom, this is the one I struggle with the most. My young children weren’t sorry about hitting their sibling or eating eight pieces of gum until I walked in the room with wide eyes and a gaping jaw. This kind of forced apology is likely the least genuine kind, but it sure makes a parent less explosive.

“I’m sorry we don’t see eye to eye here.” This one’s tough, because it’s an “I’m sorry” with no offender. When two people don’t agree—particularly when those two people are married or family or close friends—we strive for unity in things that matter. It’s difficult when agreement can’t be found.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting.” This is the most helpless of the “I’m sorry” statements. Whether physical or mental or emotional, we sorrow when we see others in pain. It’s a helpless situation, one accompanied by statements such as, “If I could do anything, I would,” or “Is there anything at all I can do to help?”

“I’m sorry I acted like that.” This one spans all ages, all seasons, and all walks of life. In the heat of the moment, we feel justified in using harsh words, slamming doors, or turning our backs. Almost immediately, sometimes even in the midst of the unkind action, we realize we were in the wrong. This kind of “I’m sorry” is easier to say the closer to the offense but is not always quickly accepted.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Sadly, this seems to be the least likely said because it’s the hardest to admit. When we look back to yesterday, last year, or a decade ago and see how our actions harmed someone else, we think we went too far to even apologize. “She surely wouldn’t forgive me this many years after it happened,” is what we whisper to ourselves. So we swallow the words, choosing to leave them unsaid.

Forms of “I’m Sorry” to God

And as if “I’m sorry” isn’t a loaded enough statement in our earthly, human relationships, we must also consider the “I’m sorry” statements we make to God. These statements are just as numerous and just as varied:

“I’m sorry I spoke when I should have kept silent.” You knew that there was no kindness, hope, or love in your heart when you were in the midst of that situation; you knew the Spirit was telling you to keep the lips zipped. But you opened your mouth and defied God.

“I’m sorry I went there.” The standards God’s given me in my life are not the same standards He’s given you. And though it may be perfectly fine for you to walk in that club or watch that movie, I know that I’ve been given a hard no from God. We justify our disobedience by saying, “But he was going, so I thought it was okay.” But we knew, all along, that it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry I didn’t honor you as Lord.” This is the heart of confession. Almighty God, creator of all that is, sustainer and ruler of the universe and my life, has the authority to tell me what to do, what not to do, how to live, and what to think. He is Lord, and every time I think I know better than Him, I live as though He’s not.

Sorrow and Repentance

It’s the lack of honor, reverence, and obedience that brought Nehemiah, Ezra, the Levites, and the people to what we’re studying this week. They knew they had sinned, and they knew they needed to say I’m sorry. And in Nehemiah 9, you’ll dig deeply into a psalm that conveys not only words of sorrow over sin but a collective heart broken over it.

Pray these words this week. Write them in your journal. Make them your own prayer. This is a chapter you’ll want to return to regularly, when your own words of “I’m sorry” to God feel inadequate. Put yourself in their feet and let the healing of repentance wash over you as it did for them.  

Leslie Hudson loves her mornings of silence, coffee, and Jesus—not in that order. She lives with her husband and kids in White Bluff, Tennessee, where they raise blueberries, figs, and bees. She loves to spend her free time reading, writing, journaling, and helping others know and follow Jesus.